apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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