We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
