I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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