I heard we made out
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
