Me too!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize