If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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