Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
