She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
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I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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