Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
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I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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