I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
