I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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