Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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