why im i the only drunk person in the library?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Holy shit dude........stairs
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
