i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize