You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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