I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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