Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
