just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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