For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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