i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
