Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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