Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
