Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
