i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
ttyl tear gas
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
