Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
