you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
