how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Let's get the cat blown out
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
