I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
