I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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