She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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