If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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