I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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