Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
