Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
