it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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