He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
