You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
