What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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