dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize