That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
