So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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