How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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