Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
