if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
