I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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