Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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