Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
