i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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