She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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