Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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