At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
