I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize