umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
