I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize