he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude i'm inner monologue high
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
